| You can't turn left, right, go forward,
| |
| | infommercial that is sure to be selling
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| backwards, or even just stand still these
| |
| | "The Metabolism Master Blaster"!
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| days without someone telling you that you
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| | - Helps You Lose Weight: Oh sure - here
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| have to exercise.
| |
| | is another example of mass hysteria. If
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| Whatever happens, DON'T do it!
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| | exercise is so good at making people lose
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| People talk about the many benefits of
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| | weight, why is it that America is fatter
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| exercise, and indeed, the list seems very
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| | today than it has ever been, even though
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| long, and it seems to touch pretty much
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| | there is a gym on every corner?
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| every aspect of our lives. Let's examine
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| | Seriously, being fat HAS to be healthy,
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| this:
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| | or else everyone wouldn't be doing it! Go
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| - Increases Energy: I can't imagine why
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| | ask the owner of any fast food restaurant
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| anyone would want to increase their
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| | if they think that people are truly
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| energy level. As if the world isn't
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| | concerned about losing weight.
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| already too full of caffeinated coffee
| |
| | - Increases Self-Esteem: This must be why
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| and energy drink junkies, now we're being
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| | anti-depressant drugs are so rampant in
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| told to try to get MORE energy from
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| | our society today. Half of our teenagers
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| exercise.
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| | are on Valium, and the other half have
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| Don't do it people! Just try to make it
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| | ADD. Marriages are breaking up left and
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| through your long and boring lives with
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| | right over emotional conflicts, and
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| barely enough pep to get from point A to
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| | psychologists get paid big dollars to
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| point B, and then drag yourself home
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| | assure people that they are "OK".
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| every night and plop down on the couch
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| | Besides, overweight people must already
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| for another brain-draining evening in
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| | have great self-esteem, because they are
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| front of the TV.
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| | able to hide in their homes dying of bad
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| - Lowers Your Risk for Heart Disease:
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| | health instead of feeling the need to go
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| Heart Disease?!? Yeah right - this sounds
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| | "be healthy" with the rest of the world.
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| like too many doctors weren't making
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| | So, in conclusion, I think we have
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| enough money, so they came up with a
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| | demonstrated that there is a perfectly
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| general term that would cover everything
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| | acceptable way to use logic to convince
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| from indigestion to breathing hard.
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| | ourselves that we don't need to exercise.
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| The fact that it kills more people in the
| |
| | Let the members of the Health and Fitness
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| United States than any other disease or
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| | industry keep selling their wares,
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| condition combined is irrelevant. Your
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| | putting together new products and
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| heart is in great shape! Keep eating
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| | facilities, and generally wasting their
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| potato chips, hamburgers, and fried
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| | lives away.
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| shrimp. You'll be just fine.
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| | The rest of us are smart and we will
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| - Cranks up Your Metabolism: What IS
| |
| | boycott this thing called "Exercise". As
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| metabolism anyway? Everyone is talking
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| | our stomachs grow larger, our backsides
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| about it, but I don't see it around
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| | get bigger, and our clothes get smaller,
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| anywhere. If it's so important to have a
| |
| | we can take solace in the fact that we
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| fast metabolism in order to burn off
| |
| | didn't get swept up by that whole "Health
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| bodyfat, wouldn't someone have come up
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| | Craze"!
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| with a magic pill or special sauce that
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| | Hey - pass the chocolate cake covered in
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| took care of this issue?
| |
| | caramel and whip cream! I want a third
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| Stay up really late eating ice cream and
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| | piece of that while my french fries
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| washing it down with root beer. While
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| | deep-fry for another five minutes and I
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| your body turns every one of those
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| | catch the end of some completely
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| calories into bodyfat, you can catch an
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| | unrealistic reality show!
|
