Cinco de Mayo Recipe

My ex reminded me last week that the holiday thatingredients. We don't want the mixture to be too
"my people" celebrate was coming up.My people. Hewet.Too wet. I just made that term up.Get out two
was, of course, being facetious, but I smacked himfrying pans. Get them out of where? That's rather up
anyway. Well, he's a thousand miles away, so Ito you. Depends on where you keep yours. Put a
virtually smacked him. Same effect.My people. Like Inice half inch layer or so of oil in one, and just heat
even speak Spanish. My father wouldn't teach usthe other. (Almost had a typo there. Almost said eat
when we were growing up because he didn't wantthe other, which would be wrong. That is no way to
us to be stigmatized. Only the last name gave usget more iron in your diet.) Heat the oil now or later,
away as it was.Still, I do like to celebrate Cinco dedepending on if you're going to cook them now or
Mayo. The Fifth of Mayonnaise. I love mayonnaise.Forlater. I usually fry them as I go.Heat the tortillas one
this Cinco de Condiment, my love wanted to makeat a time in the hot skillet. When hot and pliable, and
turkey taquitos for his office party. So I am, eventherefore easily bendable, take out of the pan, put a
now, roasting turkey parts for said taquitos. Havegood heaping tablespoon of turkey mixture on the
you ever had turkey taquitos? Around here we havetortilla, and roll it tightly. Secure with a toothpick. (Did
them after major holidays. Christmas, Thanksgiving . .you think we bought the toothpicks just for fun?)
. because that's usually when there's leftover turkey.Sometimes tortillas aren't as bendable as we might
Turkey is a primary ingredient in turkey taquitos, aswish. This is too bad. Heat them longer.Put the
you may, or may not, have gathered from the name.secured taquito in the hot oil. Let it sit there and
I dunno. Some of you are probably quicker thanbrown. Of course, while it's doing this, roll up another
others about these things.There is no mayonnaise inone and stick that in there too. Watch taquitos
turkey taquitos. A recipe featuring mayonnaise will becarefully. We want them crispy but not lethal. Turn
arriving shortly, but this isn't it.This is a recipe forthem over while they cook. We're not deep frying
turkey taquitos. Keep in mind that I can barely readthem after all, it just seems that way. The oil should
directions, much less give them, so this may be a bitnot cover the taquitos fully, only about halfway.
haphazard.First step: Go to the store. Any store. Well,That's why you turn them over.When the first
not just any store. A store that sells what you need.taquito is crispy but not overdone (and this is rather
We went to Central Market because I wanted tosubjective - mine are at times a bit chewy just
show Bruno (my boyfriend's alias) what a fun place itbecause I like 'em that way), remove it gently and
is. He stuck his finger in one of the crab tanks andput it on a plate with a paper towel to soak up the
irritated a crab, who tried to grab his finger and runoil. Do not use your fingers for this procedure,
off with it. The crab, fortunately, was unsuccessful inexcept to handle the tongs. This is hot oil, after all.
this endeavor. Whew. Close call. Anyway, CentralRepeat this procedure for the several dozen taquitos
Market has lots of cool stuff. Live food. Dead food.to follow. You can make a whole buncha taquitos
The mess of octopus on ice was something I couldbefore you know it.Growing up, I was often the
have done without. Organic food. Free range chicken.victim of burnt fingers because my stepmother
Bulk herbs. Skullsplitter ale, which I wanted justwould make me stand over the stove for hours
because of the name. A deli section where one couldheating tortillas to her specifications. For years I
just do all their shopping, thereby making the rest ofsuffered from post-taquito stress syndrome. Just the
the store redundant.Anyway. Go to the store. Wethought of making taquitos was enough to make my
looked at turkeys. Then we looked at the turkeyfingertips itch. Do not overdo it. You can cook them
breasts next to the turkey. And we went for thein batches. You can cook some now and some later.
turkey breasts. Three of 'em. Saves me the troubleThis is not a marathon to see how much damage
of wrestling with a turkey. I am nothing if not lazy.one can do to oneself. Once, when my hand was
Also buy tortillas, and bend them to make suresprained, she made me take off the wrap that was
they're fresh and pliable. And either fresh salsa, orholding it together so I could bake cookies for her,
make your own. And vegetable oil. And toothpicks.the kind you had to roll in your hand. She was mean.
Some dark sweet beverage, if you're feeling likeBesides, she always overcooked hers. Both taquitos
it.Method of cooking turkey: See, this all depends onand cookies.Serve the taquitos with guacamole and
what one plans on doing with the turkey. Forsour cream. Okay, some of you don't like sour cream.
enchiladas, stewed chicken works best. For taquitos,That's why I only bought a small sour cream - I can
roasted turkey works best. Something about theeat the stuff straight, but other people have a
dryness or lack thereof of the meat. I roast myproblem with it. I don't know why.These can be
turkey in a turkey roaster, but I suppose you couldeaten either hot or cold. Technically, everyone thinks
also use an oven. The recipe for how to roast athey're supposed to be hot, but it ain't so. If made
turkey will be out later this year, when it's time toproperly, and drained properly, they're quite good any
take those things seriously. For now, I'm sure youtime at all.Enjoy the holiday. I hear it won't come
can stumble through it.Roast the turkey.Chop thearound again until next year.Monique Young is adept
turkey into chunks and shreds. Add the fresh salsa orat certain things, but cooking is not one of them. She
the salsa you made yourself using the freshcan be reached at most days of the week.