| Like it or not, Reality TV Shows seem to | | | | eating a human kidney, although it's |
| be everywhere. Unless you are a TV | | | | bound to have happened before. A member |
| pariah you will have no doubt | | | | of the British military was sent the |
| experienced the joys of such shows as | | | | smuggled kidney of an executed Chinese |
| "Big Brother", "There's Something about | | | | prisoner as a birthday prank. He did the |
| Miriam", "Lapdance Island" and "Space | | | | only reasonable thing: marinated it in a |
| Cadets". | | | | cream bechamel sauce with a tomato |
| The latest addition to this list of mind | | | | paste. By all accounts it was delicious. |
| boggling reality shows is BNN's "The Big | | | | Use it as a dowry. If you simply can't |
| Donor Show" to be aired on Friday the | | | | get rid of a troublesome daughter then |
| 1st of June for Dutch viewers. The 80 | | | | your extra kidney could be your saviour. |
| minute show invites viewers to send in | | | | An increasingly common practice in south |
| their advice and opinions to help a | | | | and west India is to sell off a kidney |
| critically ill woman choose the best | | | | in order to pass on your daughter. |
| possible recipient of her kidney from | | | | According to medical anthropologist |
| among 3 contenders. | | | | Lawrence Cohen, parents can no longer |
| Though the show's concept has been | | | | complain about being unable to raise a |
| ridiculed and declared unethical by many | | | | dowry. "Haven't you got a spare kidney?" |
| political parties, kidney specialists | | | | Make kidney stones. A handy way to avoid |
| and donor authorities, BNN's chairman is | | | | months of agonising post-op pain and a |
| protecting the show and its concept, | | | | lifetime of single kidney-dom is to keep |
| saying: "The chance for a kidney for the | | | | your kidneys in their rightful place and |
| contestants is 33%. This is much higher | | | | turn your attentions to growing kidney |
| than that for people on a waiting list". | | | | stones. All you have to do is pee them |
| This is all in very poor taste, but this | | | | out and sell them on. One of William |
| being the least of our concerns, we've | | | | Shatner's stones recently sold for a |
| come up with our top five things to do | | | | mammoth $25,000. Nice work if you can |
| with your spare kidney. After all, | | | | get it. |
| everyone's got one. | | | | Transplant it. Probably the only legal |
| Top five ways to use your extra kidney | | | | method to get rid of an unwanted kidney |
| Sell it. The black market trade in | | | | is simply, give it to someone else. |
| organs, especially kidneys, is | | | | Preferably someone who's going to use it |
| burgeoning. Dodgy backstreet doctors | | | | as a kidney and not as an ornamental |
| will relieve you of your spare organ for | | | | paper weight. |
| a tasty wad of cash, but be careful | | | | Just to make it clear before any of you |
| about where you go. It's much better to | | | | rush off to your local backstreet |
| use the organ pirates of Brazil, where | | | | butcher to start making your organs pay |
| you could earn up to $10,000, than the | | | | please, please, please don't. Having a |
| bandits of Baghdad who'll only offer a | | | | kidney removed will really hurt. A lot. |
| meagre $1,400. | | | | And you'll spend the rest of your life |
| Eat it. You're carrying around your very | | | | in fear that your one remaining kidney |
| own main course and you won't even put | | | | will die of loneliness, leaving you |
| on any weight by eating it. We can only | | | | right up the Loop of Henle. |
| find one reported instance of a man | | | | |