| Like it or not, Reality TV Shows seem to be | | | | reported instance of a man eating a human |
| everywhere. Unless you are a TV pariah you | | | | kidney, although it's bound to have happened |
| will have no doubt experienced the joys of | | | | before. A member of the British military was |
| such shows as "Big Brother", "There's | | | | sent the smuggled kidney of an executed |
| Something about Miriam", "Lapdance Island" | | | | Chinese prisoner as a birthday prank. He did |
| and "Space Cadets". | | | | the only reasonable thing: marinated it in a |
| | | | cream bechamel sauce with a tomato paste. By |
| The latest addition to this list of mind | | | | all accounts it was delicious. |
| boggling reality shows is BNN's "The Big | | | | |
| Donor Show" to be aired on Friday the 1st of | | | | Use it as a dowry. If you simply can't get |
| June for Dutch viewers. The 80 minute show | | | | rid of a troublesome daughter then your extra |
| invites viewers to send in their advice and | | | | kidney could be your saviour. An increasingly |
| opinions to help a critically ill woman | | | | common practice in south and west India is to |
| choose the best possible recipient of her | | | | sell off a kidney in order to pass on your |
| kidney from among 3 contenders. | | | | daughter. According to medical anthropologist |
| | | | Lawrence Cohen, parents can no longer |
| Though the show's concept has been ridiculed | | | | complain about being unable to raise a dowry. |
| and declared unethical by many political | | | | "Haven't you got a spare kidney?" |
| parties, kidney specialists and donor | | | | |
| authorities, BNN's chairman is protecting the | | | | Make kidney stones. A handy way to avoid |
| show and its concept, saying: "The chance for | | | | months of agonising post-op pain and a |
| a kidney for the contestants is 33%. This is | | | | lifetime of single kidney-dom is to keep your |
| much higher than that for people on a waiting | | | | kidneys in their rightful place and turn your |
| list". | | | | attentions to growing kidney stones. All you |
| | | | have to do is pee them out and sell them on. |
| This is all in very poor taste, but this | | | | One of William Shatner's stones recently sold |
| being the least of our concerns, we've come | | | | for a mammoth $25,000. Nice work if you can |
| up with our top five things to do with your | | | | get it. |
| spare kidney. After all, everyone's got one. | | | | |
| | | | Transplant it. Probably the only legal method |
| Top five ways to use your extra kidney | | | | to get rid of an unwanted kidney is simply, |
| | | | give it to someone else. Preferably someone |
| Sell it. The black market trade in organs, | | | | who's going to use it as a kidney and not as |
| especially kidneys, is burgeoning. Dodgy | | | | an ornamental paper weight. |
| backstreet doctors will relieve you of your | | | | |
| spare organ for a tasty wad of cash, but be | | | | Just to make it clear before any of you rush |
| careful about where you go. It's much better | | | | off to your local backstreet butcher to start |
| to use the organ pirates of Brazil, where you | | | | making your organs pay please, please, please |
| could earn up to $10,000, than the bandits of | | | | don't. Having a kidney removed will really |
| Baghdad who'll only offer a meagre $1,400. | | | | hurt. A lot. And you'll spend the rest of |
| | | | your life in fear that your one remaining |
| Eat it. You're carrying around your very own | | | | kidney will die of loneliness, leaving you |
| main course and you won't even put on any | | | | right up the Loop of Henle. |
| weight by eating it. We can only find one | | | | |